


Khemia tis Nigredo

by orphan_account



Series: Violetescence [4]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Alternate Universe, Character Development, Character Study, Gen, House of Leaves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-23
Updated: 2011-01-23
Packaged: 2017-10-15 00:00:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/154900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an alternate universe where the kids were all raised by different Guardians, David Lalonde has a conversation with a certain troll, and then goes and alchemizes his gear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Khemia tis Nigredo

> David: Resolve.

You did that already. You have quite a lot of work to do, in fact, but right now you have business to attend to.

You just finished a conversation with one of those trolls. This one has been bothering you for quite a long time. He - she? - seems rather concerned for your safety, in fact. Keeps going on about how you're both Knights. His – her? - conversations have, in fact, been quite confusing. At first, he - she? (this is tedious. We shall, for the moment, use a male pronoun until it is proven otherwise) - spoke to you of being a Knight, of having a great destiny, just like him. You played along, assuming they were some roleplayer fan of your work or something. Ironically, of course.

But then other conversations grew more strange. He gave you warnings, begged for you to stop dabbling with darker powers. At the time, you were merely perplexed - what dark powers? You're just a kid. Surely this is mere trolling. Foolishness.

> David: Have completely useless conversation.

\-- aurochsGore [AG] began trolling tortileGhostwriter [TG]\--

  
AG: Sso there'ss really nothing I can do to change your mind now?  
AG: If I'm right, thiss iss where it sstarts.  
AG: When you become a Black Knight instead of light.   
TG: i am slowly beginning to understand where you may have gotten that impression  
TG: there are a few ideas from my dreams  
TG: knowledge that i must act on   
AG: I'm going to assk you again, for your own good: pleasse think about this?    
TG: i have thought about it  
TG: unless by ‘think about’ you mean ‘reconsider’  
TG: in which case then if you are truly communicating from the future then you would understand that asking me to reconsider my current course of action is a futile gesture  
TG: the end has already been written   
AG: Damn it! You aren't even going to try!?   
TG: oh im going to try  
TG: others among you have said that this is a doomed session  
TG: i refuse to accept that fate   
AG: Jusst lissten for once though. Trying to find powerss that way issn't ssafe. There'ss sstuff you don't get yet.    
TG: as i said this is a futile gesture on your part  
TG: you arent even going to tell me what i dont understand  
TG: its not in your nature to be clear  
TG: ive gathered this in previous conversations with your brethren   
AG: No, okay, fine. I'm going to tell you ssomething sstraight.  
AG: The Horrorterrorss? They tell the future, ssure. But they alsso are againsst the goal of the game. They're bad guyss, the oppossite of light. Jusst like Derssitess are the bad guyss in the game, trying to sstop the playerss from getting to the goal.  
AG: The Horrorterrorss alsso don’t want the game to finissh.   
TG: that was refreshingly simple and honest   
AG: Uhh, thankss I guessss?   
TG: but it changes nothing  
TG: besides concepts like good guys and bad guys are so black and white  
TG: and not at all reflective of the real world  
TG: reality is infinitely more complex  
TG: and you can speak of them being mere game constructs but firstly i believe the horrorterrors lie somewhat outside that  
TG: and secondly this game is infinitely more complex than anything ive yet encountered  
TG: ergo thinking of such things in that way is a bit dense of you  
TG: if not outright racist   
AG: Hey, there’ss definitely exceptions to the rule! But ass a whole that’ss jusst how it iss! And the Horrorterrorss are even worsse than Derssites.  
AG: Trusst me here! I’ve gotten to the end of the game, I’ve sseen the whole thing!  
AG: I think I’m way more qualified to sspeculate on thiss sstuff than you.   
TG: as for destroying the game itself  
TG: perhaps thats what i want   
AG: What!?   
TG: think on this  
TG: this game has already destroyed my home planet  
TG: while i never had much attachment to it  
TG: that still smarts  
TG: of much more pressing concern is that it has threatened the lives of those i hold dear  
TG: and in one dark future it ended us all  
TG: and if you are any indication all this has happened before  
TG: this game is a monstrosity  
TG: a parasite on existence  
TG: i will set us free from it   
AG: No, no, no you don't get it at all. Oh god, thiss iss terrible...  
AG: You’re going to regret thiss }:( You’ll ssee.  
AG: I’m jusst ssorry I can’t help you...  
AG: I tried though.   
TG: thats nice  
TG: this conversation is over   


\-- tortileGhostwriter [TG] has blocked aurochsGore [AG] \-- 

> David: Go find Rose.

She's been here. You saw it in your dreams, on your computer screen. Ugh, what a mess it is in here. That yellow turtle she left behind is very slowly throwing a fit. You go to go outside.

> David: Have a flash of insight.

Rose was in your room. Rose is an irrepressible prankster. You pause, one hand on the doorknob, and look up.

Ah, of course. A bucket. Likely full of something horrible. How very like her. Still, there's no other way out...

You carefully wiggle the door until the bucket falls and you catch it. Just this once, you've outsmarted one of her pranks. Inside...

Your old notebooks? How peculiar. Well, surely these aren't of any concern at the moment.

> David: Okay, NOW go outside.

First, you put your sunglasses back on at last. It's ridiculously bright here in the Land of Heat and Light, and even with your sunglasses on it's a little painful. Once those are in place, you go outside and … well, there goes Rose on her rocket across the desert. Pchoooooo.

You are, once again, alone. Save for this turtle, of course. You name him Sir Wiglaf of Heorot.

> David: ALCHEMIZE.

Heck yes. You've been waiting to do this since you saw Rose get all of her gear. It's your turn now.

You begin with the very simple act of combining your LAPTOP with the HUB, creating a HUBTOP. That was easy – you saw it in your dreams.

You then experiment a bit. You try combining the GILDED SWIFFER with the PINK BANDANA and get the GOLDEN PAISLY SWIFFER.

… well that was useless.

You then combine your DARK WARRIOR ACTION FIGURE with the TURTLE and get a TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLE ACTION FIGURE. You give it to Wiglaf to play with. A strapping lad like him needs proper role models, after all.

Well, then. You combine your copy of the NEVERENDING STORY (the book version. You hated the movie on principle and felt that having read the book automatically made you superior to everyone you knew) with a DRAGON PLUSH and get the FALCOR PLUSH. Now you're getting somewhere. You're not quite sure where _exactly_ but it's somewhere.

Now to proper business. You combine your HUBTOP with your CAN HEADPHONES and SUNGLASSES, creating the HUBTOP CANS – computing device, kicking sound system, and eye protection, all rolled into one.

You combine the FLASHLIGHT with the VODKA and get... BRIGHTLIGHT VODKA. It is highly alcoholic, and glows in the dark! Is this even safe to drink?

This, however, gives you a much better idea. You combine the FLASHLIGHT with your FENCING SABER and get the LIGHT SABER. To your surprise, the glowing white blade really _is_ quite powerful, easily leaving black marks on the roof of your house, and even melting some of the sand that's blown up here into twisted glass. _Nice._

A proper Knight needs armor in addition to weapons. You combine your CHAINMAIL CUFF with the PURPLE SQUIDDLE PLUSH that Jade bought you and your IRONIC RECORD SHIRT. Actually... something about the way you entered the Medium seems to have changed the shirt. It's not quite an IRONIC RECORD SHIRT anymore, it's more like a SPIRAL STAIR SHIRT.

Okay, fine. CHAINMAIL CUFF, PURPLE SQUIDDLE, SPIRAL STAIR SHIRT. This gets you TANGLEMAIL – stylish, bright purple chainmail over a soft plush shirt. It's a bit hot in this weather. Hmm.

You add the ICE CUBES to this, and get the CHILL TANGLEMAIL – much more convenient for keeping you cool AND protected!

But you still need a little more. You take your CHILD'S PLAY SHIELD and combine it with your SPIRAL STAIR SHIRT, creating the NAUTILUS BULWARK. It's... serviceable, at least. Better than the shitty pine wood piece of junk the original shield was. You also combine your HALLOWEEN CAPE with the SPIRAL STAIR SHIRT and the ICE CUBES to create the FROSTED NAUTILUS CAPE.

You arm yourself. And yet... this isn't enough. Surely there's a way to make this all a little better. Hmm.

You look at your copy of House of Leaves. You didn't allocate this to your Strife Specibus for a very good reason. And yet...

You combine the LIGHT SABER with your COPY OF HOUSE OF LEAVES.

The blade that results is so black that it seems like a scar on the world, the exact opposite of the LIGHT SABER. It seems to be made of a series of blocks, stuck together. The whole area seems somehow darker for its presence. You can almost see spacial dimensions begin to warp around it, non euclidean shapes making themselves known just out of the range of your vision.

Any sane adventurer would leave this sword where it was, or cast it beyond the FURTHEST RING. Its very presence seems wrong, somehow.

You are no longer a _sane_ adventurer.

You pick up the SPIRAL STAIRMITAR. Your arm immediately goes numb, as though you'd banged your elbow, before you feel a prickling sensation along its length. The area around you darkens, and you think you see the size of your roof change, just a little.

Or perhaps it was your imagination.

In either case, you hear, just at the edge of your perception, a low growl. Again, you have the sensation of being watched, of something crouching in the pockets of silence, something just beyond your peripheral vision, something huge and terrible, its eyes locked on you. Hungry. Waiting.

This time, you smile. There is no fear. After all...

 ~~  
You, too, are a minotaur.   
~~

You turn to face the imps and ogres that have overrun your house. The fell energies of your black blade crackle as you charge and instantly decapitate one before leaping off its still sputtering neck onto the head of the next, driving your sword deep into its cranium.

 _Welcome to the party, motherfuckers._

**Author's Note:**

> This AU was initially inspired by adamantApoplectic's wonderful AU (available here: https://docs.google.com/View?id=dgv9xcjq_190htvp3xd4&pli=1 ), some fanart done of said AU, and roleplay shenanigans on Livejournal. The brown blooded Vriska Sekret comes originally from that AU; I received permission from AA to use her and the other trolls in this fic. Huge kudos to AA for coming up with this AU and letting us all play in it!
> 
> Also, re the title: "khemia" is the ancient Greek term for "alchemy". "Nigredo" is the alchemical first step in attaining the Philospher's Stone; the word means 'blackness' and refers to cooking the initial ingredients to a uniform blackness before using.


End file.
